Is this the place for me?

Posted on August 15th, 2009 in Emotions by mylescxy  Tagged

I’ve been living in Gensan for almost six years already. But until now, I still haven’t fallen in love with this place. I’ve made numerous plans to leave but until now, I’m still stuck. Well, I admit that when my brothers and cousin were still living with me, I felt OK, though I knew, deep in my heart, living here is just temporary.

And now that I’m staying in this almost always-empty BQ, I feel so…homesick. Like the way I felt when I was a freshman (high school) in Pisay (Davao) and then again in Iligan (college).

But after a while, I’ve always learned to adjust and love the places I’ve lived for four years - especially Davao. But Gensan is just sooo different. Maybe because I don’t live in a boarding house full of people anymore. BQ in MSU is like an alien place - now that Maam Gie has retired and Angem is back in Iligan. Ate Zita locks herself up in her room most of the time, Ate Caring and Ems go to their respective homes during the weekends. To make matters worse, we don’t really have neighbors - except for Sir Monching, who seldom visits now because Angem is no longer here. And MSU’s location!!! Argh! It’s too far from civilization. Something I should learn to accept if I’m gonna stay longer here coz there’s nothing I could do about it.

I miss having people to talk to during Saturdays. Maybe I’ll just work again during Saturdays next semester. Or I’ll have to find a new job (?) in Davao or something.

Sometimes, it’s just too much to bear. I feel like riding all the way to Davao to be with my brothers. I wanna be home! Wherever that is.

Win or Lose

Posted on August 13th, 2009 in Emotions by mylescxy

(A Repost from my Blogger account…)

I was recently invited to be a judge in different competitions by an IT school. It was a new experience for me. I’ve been a judge before, yes - for college beauty pageants and games such as Paint-Me-A-Picture. Sheesh. =D But not in “serious” stuff.

I was kinda apprehensive about accepting the offer but my friend assured me that all I had to do there was watch the participants, and eat my snacks. Haha. Pretty easy…
So I just shook all the apprehension away and prepared for the event by reading the guidelines for the different competitions. And I thought, well, it was a bit challenging but I guess there ain’t much to worry about.
But I was in for a surprise. There was one participant who was so toxic. As in T O X I C. At first, he corrected me on the way I pulled the IDE cable. He said I could break the pins if I pulled it the way I did. Grrr.. I admit pulling computer cables is not one of my favorite things in the world but the way he said it really got into my nerves. I wanted to excuse him for treating me like that because he didn’t know me but I can’t help but get irritated. So I let him pull the other cables instead - though it was not allowed in the guidelines. Duh, whatever.
Then, when he started to assemble the PC, he was so rash, impetuous.. I deducted points from him for improper handling of the hard disk and other devices. He even shook the CPU box because one screw was missing. Gosh. And then when he turned on the PC, he couldn’t get it to boot. After a few attempts, the computer really didn’t boot at all. He kicked the table and said “Malas, Sir..”, with a very disappointed face.
He started complaining that he got all the connections right and that there was just something wrong with the computer that is why it didn’t boot. The other judge told him that he saw that the computer was functioning well before the competition and that there was no reason why it would suddenly malfunction.
To cut the story short, he was the ONLY ONE out of the 9 participants who wasn’t able to boot the computer - and he was the MOST ARROGANT!
I was really stressed by the incident but I learned the following from the experience:
  • Neverbe arrogant. Always be humble.
  • If you are a judge, read the guidelines thoroughly.
  • If you are a judge, you have to be calm and composed, ready to resolve any complaints from the participants.
  • The decision of the judge is final and irrevocable.

I really learned a lot from the experience. =)

Dealing with a Heartbreak: Lessons Learned

Posted on July 4th, 2009 in Emotions by mylescxy  Tagged ,

If you’ve read my last post, you’ll remember that I talked about my friends’ heartaches. But then, just after 3 days, it was time - for me - to experience it too.

Again, I was not prepared (although I was already expecting it). I was caught off-guard. Lesson Number 1: No matter how much you anticipate a heartbreak, it will still hurt.

I can still remember the time when I told myself that I was willing to take the risk, and if I’ll get hurt, I’ll be OK. What matters is that I’ve experienced happiness with that person for some time. After all, life is about taking risks and learning. As the cliche goes, “It’s better to have loved and lost, than not having loved at all.”

It’s only been barely six months since I’ve experienced my second major heartbreak but here I am now, dealing with another one. Lesson Number 2: Don’t jump into another relationship right after a breakup (esp. when you’re in it primarily to forget about the last guy who’s hurt you). It’s like an anaesthesia that leaves you hurting more when it has lost its effectivity.

Anyway, I know I’ll get over this, just like the previous one. Here are my baby steps to healing:

1. Accept what happened - and the fact that he’ll be out of your life - sooner than expected.

2. Don’t be afraid to feel the pain. I am the kind of person who’s so afraid of getting hurt that when I do get hurt, I look for immediate ways to relieve myself of the pain. I panic.

3. Be patient with yourself. Because I panic when I get hurt, I just want to take a shortcut to healing. If only there was a pill I could take to take away the pain, I’d pay dearly for it. Well, because there’s no pill available, I go to my friends for comfort, hoping that I could find relief in their presence, kind words and listening ears.

4. Believe that you’ll get over it. Know that you’re not stuck in these emotions forever! Tomorrow is another day! :)

5. Back to Number 1 until you forget the reason why you’re havin these baby steps. Haha…

Good luck to me!

Boys will be boys…

Posted on July 1st, 2009 in Emotions by mylescxy

Lately, I’ve been experiencing heartaches.

Funny because I’m currently happy with my personal life. These heartaches that I am talking about are caused by the “boys” of my friends. My close friends are currently in a place I’ve been to before - where the prince suddenly becomes a monster. And as Taylor Swift says, you realize that you’re not a princess and it’s not a fairytale. Boys are just boys, and they will be boys…
That’s why girls should stop being so “nice” and “loyal”. As Marilyn Monroe said: “A wise girl kisses but does not love, listens but does not believe, and leaves before she is left.” :)
Yeah, it’s kinda hard to do because we’ve all been taught and brought up the other way around. But girls, don’t give your heart to one man - not until there’s a ring on your finger. Enjoy getting all the attention, affection, care and love from the people around you - not just from one man… ;)

For Papa, with love…

Posted on June 27th, 2009 in Emotions by mylescxy
While watching MMK’s Father’s Day Special (Boyet de Leon as a doctor…), I suddenly felt an urge to write something about my father.

Toast with Papa

Toast with Papa

I don’t really have the best father in the world.
He has always been struggling against his addiction to gambling. When I was only 5 years old, mother used to ask me to go to our neighbor (where Papa used to play mah-jhong) and tell my father to go home. Papa would give me a five-peso bill and I would happily go home - alone.
I could not remember at what age I stopped going to Papa’s mah-jhong place, but I could still remember when he and Mama got into a huge fight that Mama took in a handful of sleeping pills. I was so scared at that time, I thought our family was falling apart and I might lose my mother. Thank God, nothing bad happened to Mama and they were able to fix things.
When I had my debut, Papa took a vow never to gamble again - in front of our family and friends. Yeah, he was true to his promise - for a week, I think. Then he went back to gambling again.
Just two weeks before this year’s Father’s Day, I woke up to the sound of my cellphone’s message tone and was glad when I saw that the message was from my Papa. But my heart sank when I read his message. He wanted to borrow 5 thousand so he could pay some of his debts and household monthly dues. I sent three full messages through Chikka nagging my father for being so irresponsible. Papa never replied to any of my messages.
The following day, I was so bothered and guilty for hurting my father and decided to text him and tell him that I am sending 2 thousand to him. He replied and said thank you, and that he will pay me when he receives his salary. I really didn’t expect that he’ll pay me and just said I love him.
A week before Father’s day, Papa texted me and told me that he’s paying his debt already. I said he doesn’t have to and to think of it as my Father’s Day gift to him. He said thank you.
On Father’s Day, I texted Papa and said I love him. He told me to have lunch with them because he’s cooking “alimango” (crabs) - an impossible thing, because I live nine hours away from them! I just told him I’ll taste his cooking soon, when I go home. Papa just replied saying, “Cge, pagtext lang daan kanus a ka mouli kay magluto ko daan.” Awww… it really touched my heart.
Yes, I don’t have the best father in the world, but I love him anyway. =)

To Someone Special: Now, by MYMP :)

Posted on May 18th, 2009 in Emotions, Song by mylescxy  Tagged , ,

Now is all I know
Now is all I got
And I don’t know
If there will be tomorrow for us.

Now is all I care about
Now that you are here
Now that you’re the contents of my heart.

Now you’re all I know
Now is all I promise
And I don’t know
If there will be a future for us.

Now is all I live for
Now that you are near
And it was best that from the start it was clear.

Refrain:
Loving is not owning
We can let it go
We can let it go.

Loving is not owning
You can let me go
You can let me go.

Chorus:
There’s a reason
Why we love each other now
And we don’t know if this is forever.

There’s a reason
Why we are together now
And we don’t care if it’s not forever now.

Now is all I think about
Now that I am happy
And I’m not sure
If there will be a future for us.

Now is all I offer
It’s everything I got
And I still wish
That there will be a tomorrow for us.

(Repeat Refrain)
(Repeat Chorus)
Ad Lib
(Repeat Refrain)
(Repeat Chorus except last word)
(Repeat Chorus)

Coda:
We love each other now…

YOU can do it!

Posted on May 9th, 2009 in Emotions, Movie/Book Reviews by mylescxy  Tagged , ,

After a week of hardwork, I rewarded myself with 2 really worth-it movies - “Gracie” and “The Express”.

Both movies are all about sports. Gracie was about soccer while The Express was all about football. But beyond the athletics, I loved both films because of this message: “You can do it!”. Gracie was a girl who loved soccer so much she wanted to play on their school’s soccer team - the problem was, it was for males only. A female didn’t have a place in the team. But because of sheer hardwork, determination, and support from her family, she made it to the team! Wow. That was really amazing.

Ernie Davis of “The Express” was a Negro who was so good at playing football. Despite all the descrimination he got from the whites, he outplayed them all and showed them what he’s got.

No one can tell you what you can and cannot do. If you believe in yourself, focus on your goal, and give it your best shot, you’ll succeed in whatever you want to do.

What on Earth am I Here for?

Posted on May 6th, 2009 in Emotions by mylescxy

I recently read Bo Sachez’s blog about Fulfilling My Life Purpose. It was as usual, a well written and meaningful article. It stirred me to reflect about my life’s purpose and ponder on these two questions:

Question #1: What do you love to do?

Question #2: Where do you excel?

According to Bo, in order to discern your purpose, you have to make an inventory of your gifts and rate them from 1 to 10

So here’s mine:

  • Leadership/Organizing/Directing People - 7. I feel that this is my gift. I can safely say that I excel in this area. I know how to deal with and handle people. But I have more things to learn so it’s only a 7.
  • Writing - 7. I love to write. I even started writing novels/short stories when I was 12. I loved reading so much and I figured I could also write my own book. But those were mostly love stories and I haven’t finished those pieces.
  • Teaching - 6. I am not so sure about this rating. My teaching performance varies a lot because it’s affected by many factors such as: my interest in the subject, level of intelligence of my students, and mood of the day. Geez… But, I hear feedback from my students that I’m doing pretty well… Hmm…that’s very nice to hear and I sure hope they’re sincere about it. :)
  • Painting (mostly landscapes and sunsets) - 5. When I was in high school, we were required to paint using charcoal and water color. I was totally in love with it. Some people said that I was good in it but I haven’t really spent so much time with it. It’s been like 8 years since I last painted. :(
  • Cooking - 4. I can cook and I’d love to learn more about it. It’s currently not one of my priorities though.
  • Speaking - 5. I still have a lot to learn but I’m glad I’m improving quite a lot lately.
  • Athletics - 1. Gosh. I am so poor in this area. I am a certified LAMPA. :D
  • Interior decoration, arrangement, etc related to house keeping - 1. I know I can do better in this area and I sometimes get into the mood of cleaning and keeping things in order but that happens once in a blue moon.

After coming up with this inventory, I have realized that I really have to focus and master the skill of leadership. Unfortunately for me, my current work doesn’t give me much opportunity to hone this skill. Although this skill is also very important in the classroom environment because essentially, you have to be a good leader to your students. Hmm…

Other important insights I gained from Bo’s article are these:

  • Forget your weaknesses. Stop giving so much energy to them. Delegate.
  • Focus 80% of your attention, time, and energy in developing your strengths.
  • Focus the remaining 20% in developing your new strengths.

I will try to be a  laser rather than a flashlight.

A flashlight and a laser are both made of the same element: Light. But a laser is a thousand times more powerful than a flashlight because it’s focused light. A flashlight is pretty harmless, but a laser can cut through the thickest steel. - Bo Sanchez

Summer: A Typical Day

Posted on May 4th, 2009 in Current Affairs by mylescxy

It’s been a fantastic summer so far. I’ve never learned so much in so little time. Hooray! :)

Here’s how I spend a typical summer workday:
1. Read Didache and thank the Lord for another wonderful day.

2. Read important emails and blog feeds (Bo Sanchez’s and Sacha’s usually).

3. Toast bread, drink Milo, and cook bfast.

4. Shower (I have to shower first before I use the computer to avoid hurting my eyes).

5. Start work at ODesk.

6. Prepare for the afternoon classes.

7. Go to class (1-4pm). Simultaneous class: It120 and CSC1 (Multitasking! Hehe… :D)

8. Go home and discuss with UK boss about ODesk assignment or just continue where I left off from my assignment.

9. Cook or eat dinner (I usually cook viand once a day - in the morning. Just to save - both time and money!). ;)

10. Watch a movie or TV. Or do social networking. Fun! Relax. :)

I am supposed to be playing badminton on Saturday mornings but my constant badminton buddies - Angem and Sir Monching are having a grand vacation so it’s currently out of my schedule.

Sartudays now are for the laundry (which keep on piling up since I worked at ODesk) and still work…at ODesk or checking papers…If I have money + time then I go out with friends, do the grocery or just shop around..

Sundays are for mass, laundry, or pressing clothes. Most of the time, I am a couch potato and just watch movies. =)

The Climb by Miley Cyrus

Posted on May 3rd, 2009 in Song by mylescxy  Tagged ,

I like this song by Miley Cyrus. Very Inspiring. It concretely describes the state I am now at achieving my Life Goals… =) Just Keep Moving Forward and Have Faith!

The Climb by Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there’s a voice inside my head saying
“You’ll never reach it”

Every step I’m taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose

Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I’m not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

‘Cause there’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose

Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb, yeah!

There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody’s gonna have to lose

Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It’s all about, it’s all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Next Page »