Mylene

I think Friendster has to do something about the way it lists the blogs made by one’s friends. I am guilty for flooding my friends with my posts lately. When they click on the Blogs submenu under Profile, I think most of my friends would see only MY posts - that’s because I am blogging quite a lot lately. Some of my friends who have other blogger friends may see other posts on their lists. I suggest that they only list the latest post made by one’s friends: latest post by 10 friends would do…

Anyway, after reading a very nice post about some lessons on blogging, I have realized that I need to build my own niche and be more specific with my target audience. So I am reserving this blog on Friendster for the lighter side of life, which includes topics on relationships, personal growth, emotions, travels, book and movie reviews, and career tips.

My more personal online diary will be on my Multiply site because I think it is more private and I have more control over it - being able to monitor who visits my site and what specific pages they view.

My more serious and techie blog will be on Blogger. It is where I post my articles on teaching, gadgets, tech reviews, programming, web development, and other tech or work-related stuff.

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I suffered from Quarter-life Crisis exactly on schedule: at 25.

Wikipedia:
A crisis (plural: crises) may occur on a personal or societal level. It may be a traumatic or stressful change in a person’s life, or an unstable and dangerous social situation, in political, social, economic, military affairs, or a large-scale environmental event, especially one involving an impending abrupt change. More loosely, it is a term meaning ‘a testing time’ or ‘emergency event’.

It happened during the last quarter of 2008.

I felt I was at the peak of my career. I finished my Master’s degree on time, was invited to speak at various IT conferences and conducted trainings. I was even one of the SFD team leaders who were given special mention. Also, I passed the PhilNITS exam and had a great job offer at one of the software companies. It seems that I was really successful. But one thing was lacking: a lovelife. (Yeah, friends, I know…)

Until I met this guy in one of the trainings I attended. Guy X had everything on my Guy Checklist. A good diploma, title, nice and stable job, charming personality, responsible, Catholic, good son, and lives in the city where I wanted to live and build a family. Plus, he even had a car (ahem). Everything was perfect. It was just so hard to resist. I was supposed to be happy. I was. And I definitely enjoyed those times. Life was soooo good to me. But I had a gut-feeling that it was just too good to be true. I had everything I ever wished for. It didn’t feel right. I waited for the dark day to come.

And one day, it did! The relationship ended. Crashed. Crushed. Just like that. At first, I struggled. I wondered what was wrong with me. How could it happen to an awesome and fabulous girl like me?! How can I be a failure? It was just so hard to handle…at first.

But I handled the crisis pretty well.

I didn’t wallow in self-pity or turn into drugs, alcohol or commit suicide. I am a toughie. I just evaluated my life - took a closer look on who I am as a person and realized that there’s nothing wrong with me, at all! I am indeed fabulous! (in my own standards, at least…) :D

This blog entry is not about “Surviving a breakup” so, I won’t focus on that. It deserves an entirely new entry.

Anyway, amidst all the “getting-over” and “moving forward”, I still had to deal with another dilemma: “Staying or Moving Out”.

I was confused about staying with my current job or moving into another field. It was not a simple decision because it involved moving to another city, looking for a new(and more expensive) house, meeting and working with new people and leaving the people whom I have worked with the past five years. It was a tougher crisis.

These were the questions that kept bothering me:

• Will I be better as a trainer or a teacher?
• Where do I fit: academe or industry?
• Who are the better friends: those in GenSan or those in Cebu?(A stupid question coz all of my friends are equally great!)
• Will I be happier in GenSan or in Cebu?
• Will Company X get hit by the global economic crisis?

But again, I was able to get through it with flying colors…

Here are the things I did:

• Pray - Spiritual guidance really helps
• Talk to friends - especially those who really understand what you are going through and are much eager to help
• Meditate/Reflect - Take some time to be with yourself. Examine your heart and identify your feelings. Know your deepest desires and priorities.
• Read books/blogs - You are not alone! Learn from those who went through similar situations

I am now a better and more mature person because of the crises I have gone through. I am single but happy. At least nobody’s making me cry over nonsense stuff right now. Haha.

And I realized that there was something wrong with my Guy Checklist: I missed the loyal, honest, mature and totally-into-me criteria. No wonder I got the wrong guy! Another thing I realized is that I have a fantastic job here in MSU, which allows me to enjoy the thing I am truly good at: being with and working with people! I will have fun with my current job and look for other opportunities a little later…

How about you? How did you handle your quarter-life crisis?

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Lake Sebu

I had a wonderful weekend.

My friend Jane went to GenSan for a visit. It was our first time to see each other after our college graduation. I picked her up from the airport last Feb 15 at lunch time. The sun’s heat was scorching hot but it didn’t stop us from having our great Lake Sebu adventure.

It’s the first time for both of us to travel in that direction, and I loved the thrill (of possibly getting lost)! =) Well, as they say, if you know how to read and speak, then there’s no way you’ll get lost.

Anyway, Lake Sebu is a nice spot for reflection, relaxation and meditation - just what both of us needed at that time. The serene view of the lake inevitably gives you peace of mind and calms your spirit. And the laid-back culture of the place gives you a breather from the busy life in the metro.

And the cost?
GenSan to Marbel (aircon bus): 70
Marbel to Surallah (aircon bus): 24
Surallah to Lake Sebu (jeep): 30
to Punta Isla (habal2x) : 10

VIP Room for 2: 750
Tilapia dishes good for 4: 170

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Lately, I’ve been spending much time reflecting and thinking about some of life’s crucial issues. Yes, that includes my so-called love life. Close friends and family know what i mean. And equally competing with my precious time are thoughts about my career. I know I have blogged about THAT numerous times already. And here I am again, writing one of those blogs…

I’d like to share a little bit about some of the books that i’ve recently read, which have really helped me find some answers…

1. he’s just NOT THAT into you by greg behrendt and liz tuccillo
i strongly recommend this to girls who are puzzled by their guy’s “puzzling” behavior so they can just stop making those lame excuses for them. it’s a funny book. i know you’ll enjoy reading it. ;)

2. The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck
this one’s an international best seller for many years. it’s a phenomenal hit.
i recommend this to anyone who seeks to better understand himself and the world around him…it will enable you to reach a higher level of self-understanding…

3. An article entitled “How To Find What You Love To Do” by Brian Kim
The article was inspired by Steve Jobs’ commencement speech at Stanford University.

You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do - Steve Jobs

And it is because of this article that I’ve finally made a decision. The confusion is over. I know what I want to do with my life…and more important, I know what I want to do TWO months from now. I am excited. But I’m scared too. Actually, I am really, really, scared. I have all the reasons to be scared. It’s going to be a whole new world for me. New place, new job, new people, new routine… Aside from that, I have to do this in a time of recession, economic crisis, and a season of laying offs in many companies worldwide. But then again, life is full of uncertainties. And I’ll never know unless I give it a try.

What’s in it for me? Simple. There are cases when money is not everything. Sometimes, it all boils down to passion. According to the article I’ve read, you have to ask yourself this question:

What would I love to do on a daily basis utilizing both my skills and interests that will add significant value to people?

Try to ask yourself the same question. It might be helpful for you, too.

Yeah, yeah, I know it’s a BIG risk. I know I have to learn a lot of things. I know I’ll face big mistakes and big fears. But I really, really, want to do this.

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Whew! Today is the fourth day of our SW Training…Easy, Average, or Difficult? Sensei keeps on asking us if we find the question easy, average, or difficult. Then he starts counting the hands of the people who raise their hands…Hmmm…

Our Japanese sensei is very dedicated. He tries so hard to make us understand…It’s pretty amazing that he has the energy to discuss from 9-5pm, for five straight days…And he’s a little old already. We are so privileged to learn from him (FOR FREE) and he speaks good (quite comprehensible) English as well… :)

However, I am still having second thoughts on taking the SW Exam (that’s the higher level exam after FE). And it’s really, really, more challenging than the FE Exam…Sigh… Why make life so hard? :D

Here’s a brief overview on the PhilNITS SW Exam:

AM : 80 questions to be answered in 160 minutes (Multiple Choice)
PM Part (Fill in the blanks –> NO MORE CHOICES!)
PM Part 1: 1-4 Questions (to be solved in 1 hour), 5-6 Questions, 1hour
PM Part 2: 1 question only. Worth 100 points.

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Hmm…got this from a friend’s email..just might be helpful to you, too…

A group of graduates, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the simple and cheap ones.

While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases, it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups! Then you began eyeing each other’s cups.

Now, consider this:

Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life. and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us. Enjoy your coffee!

The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.

-i don’t know who wrote this, but i find it really nice. =)

hmm…makes me think about the choice i’m going to make. it doesn’t hurt naman cguro if i’ll have a nice cup and the best coffee in it, right? hehe…

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